Thursday, March 27, 2008

Now--Where Were We?

The following fragment has been slowly working its way out of the noggin today, like some hardened turd. The tune, of course, is Wiv a Little Bit o' Luck:

The Lord above damns gluttony and envy
And pride and sloth and avarice and wrath;
The Lord above damns gluttony and envy, but—
With a little bit of lust,
With a little bit of lust,
You at least might get a nice sponge bath.

Lyric © 2008 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Er . . .

I have no wish to disconcert my few but faithful readers, but I suppose I ought to mention, just for the record--after all, this is a blog, and consequently must indulge the blogger's narcissism every now and then, or be drummed out of the Guild--that, on Saturday evening just past, I was baptized.

If there are no questions, you may go back to whatever you were doing.

As soon as the apoplexy abates.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sex, Hell!

"Spitzer Resigns, Felled by Sex Scandal." As usual, the Nyok Times misses the point of what it reports, though it's had four days to get it right.

The sex, as anyone with a sense of humor can see, was there only for comic relief. Nothing's funnier than a prematurely bald man of great power and riches but indifferent personal advantages being Caught in the Act. Laughing about such things is Human Nature.

But that shouldn't distract us from the moral lessons: a Pecksniff has violated laws enacted by his fellow Pecksniffs, including transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises; being very, very naughty, 26 U.S.C.A. §6050I(f)-wise; and Paying For It.

And then there's the moral lesson derived from watching the ex-Gov learn that the Law applies to the boys in the Temple, as well as to the congregation outside. The present mess, in fact, has at least one thing in common with Nannygate.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tenable Theory

When I heard that Eliot Spitzer, the reportedly soon-to-be-late-Governor of New York, had endorsed Hillary Clinton for President, it all began to make some sense.

Imagine Clinton staffers brainstorming one night, as they try to improve their boss's chances of the nomination. Suddenly, one tired staffer says, "You know, it's Bill that's the problem. His 'po' white trash' image drags hers down. If only we could find some way to make him look like a class act . . ."

Monday, March 10, 2008

HOT Damn!!

Gov. Eliot Spitzer of Nyok is, perhaps, the most self-righteous, pompous, arrogant, ruthless and pharisaical demagogue to attain public office since the days of the New Deal. For starters, I'm thinking of his plan to thwart national immigration policy by issuing driver's licenses to illegals; his repeated usurpations of federal criminal jurisdiction with self-congratulatory attendant grandstanding that made Senator Chuck Schumer look like a piker; and his unilateral determination to treat tobacco companies as tortfeasors. If this were the 1930's, Frank Capra would be directing Edward Arnold in his biopic.

Well, El's finally 'fessed up to something. A child of privilege, he could not, of course, have hired an honest working girl to haul his ashes, oh, no, no, no; his bit of crumpet had to be a gold-bottomed, diamond-encrusted whore.

Beggin' yer pardon, Guv'nor, but them gels is too good for the loiks of us!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Marking Time

On Monday evening, I was scheduled to rehearse the two anti-war songs from the Obama fundraiser for an encore performance. While waiting for the advent of my accompanist, an idea occurred to me for a parody of the traditional song, Little Liza Jane, if that's what it's called:

Are you shocked by what you dreamt?
Analyze your brain!
Does it make you feel verklemmt?
Analyze your brain!

Analyze it—
Analyze your brain!
Analyze it—
Analyze your brain!

Lyric © 2008 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

What in tarnation it means is anybody's guess. Whether anything will come of it, ditto.
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