Monday, October 03, 2005

A Completely Imaginary Parody

I was sauntering about Manhattan on Saturday, when the germ of an idea for a parody of Gershwin's Embraceable You popped into the noggin, thanks to a word in season from the incomparable Miss Sallie Parker. (Ta, Miss P.)

My indifferent public knows what a stickler I am about rhyme, but a gag occurred to me that was so obviously the goods--fitted Gershwin's little musical burp to a T, and was as funny as hell--, that I decided that here, at last, was a good reason to break a rule. So good is the gag, that I fear that it may represent some subconscious memory; surely, someone, somewhere, sometime, has written this parody before. I certainly hope not.

And let me add that this lyric is entirely the product of imagination. I have no first-hand experience of the subject matter. Repeat, none.

Inflate me,
My sweet, inflatable you.
Elate me,
Manipulatable you.
Two enormous knockers and a nice little rump—
All it takes is patience and a bicycle pump.
Your latex
Against my veteran flesh,
In Playtex,
Is even better ‘n flesh;
And, when I push this button,
You can simulate arousal, too—
My automatable you.

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov, until further notice

Criticisms, off the top of my head: veteran flesh/better 'n flesh is a dummy rhyme at the moment, though veteran is certainly apt, according to my mirror. Inflate me, as a synonym for induce an erection in me, may be 'way too subtle for this day and age. Still, that one will probably have to stay. (O God, where does one find perfection?)


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