Utterly Useless Parody

In the time it took to step downstairs to post two letters and cop a fag (all right--smoke a cigarette), the following utterly useless parody of the beginning of Lilley's I've Got Spurs That Jingle Jangle Jingle popped into the old noggin. One must imagine Bob Hope singing it:

"Here's the pitch: Let Bingle wangle Kringle
To perform in his latest Christmas song—
And to cinch a record-breaking single,
Add Lamour in a tropical sarong."

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov, though why bother