Homework, Forsooth!

A friend of mine bet me, in a manner of speaking, that I couldn't write another parody of the Yellen-Ager-Bigelow-Bates (yep, it took four men to write it) Hard-Hearted Hannah. The proviso was that the parody had to be about a "nice" girl. (Now, what do I know from nice girls?) A week's thought, and one lousy chorus is all I have so far. I won't waste time criticizing it:

They call her
Mild-mannered Millie,
The vixen of Philly;
The baddest gal in town.
Lightning is fast, but Millie's even faster;
She plays hymns, but with a ghetto-blaster.
She's hep to the lingo
Of mah jongg and bingo--
And she's been known to play.
I watched her at canasta in the barber shop,
And I'll swear she wasn't dealin' 'em from off the top!
She's mild-mannered Millie,
The vixen of Philly,
P.-A.

Lyric (such as it is) © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov