What's Mother's Day Without a Song?

What, indeed?

I awoke this morning with any number of things I ought to be doing, at home and abroad, and consequently had no difficulty in neglecting them all, to bend my mind to the problem of a Mother's Day Song. It's set to Theo Morse's "M-O-T-H-E-R" (1915), and a lovely midi of it can be found here. The lyric:

M is for her major-league maracas;
O is for her oversized bazoom;
T is her titanic titicacas;
H is how her headlights flood the room.
E is extra-ordinary fun bags;
R is rack—this chick is not a sylph.
Put them all together, they spell “Mother”
(By “Mother,” I, of course, mean MILF).

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov