'60's Variety, and a Throwaway

Last night, PBS profiled, or rather eulogized (and quite rightly, too), Dinah Shore, with clips from her variety show. Wow. I'd forgotten how good '60's variety was. And unforgettable moments: where else can you find Ella Fitzgerald singing with Jimmy Durante, or Dinah Shore singing with Groucho, of all people?

So I awoke this morning with Sinatra in my head, and came up with the following nonce lyric, to the tune of Youmans's Great Day (sorry, no link yet; you'll have to google it yourself):

When you cook with eggs,
Make sure they still have legs—
Always insist on Grade A.

Those eggs, over there—
Older than camembert?
Trust me—they've had their heyday.

"Check for fresh albumens!"
Sez Vincent Youmans—
And (I assume)
Yolk-o Ono.

Open up the shell:
If it should smell like Hell,
Send out an urgent "Mayday,"
And trade it in for one that's Grade A.

If the foregoing does nothing else, it may at least rid my mind of the tune to Downtown, which is beginning to annoy the hell out of me.

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov