Wednesday, October 03, 2007

"Windmills," Forsooth!

A (the) commenter to my last post has threatened to divulge his own parody of Windmills of Your Mind, so I feel it advisable (just to show that I actually have attempted it) to post a couple of fragments:

It's another business cycle,
Bringing loss to balance loss;
Under pressure from the fussing
Of your blunder-bussing boss;
Like the trickle of the treacle
As it travels down your chin,
Troubles inundate your office,
To your truculent chagrin;
Productivity is fading,
As your creditors increase;
All your clients are immoral,
Or illegal, or obese;
Your resolve is undermined
By the Bushmills in your mind!

And what does it all mean? Squat—if that. Merely an attempt to replicate the sound pattern of the original. Taking care of the sounds and letting the sense fend for itself.


It began with Prohibition,
And continued with Repeal
And the 21st Amendment
Of the New-by-golly-Deal; . . .

Ending with something like:

In the law, it is enshrined
That our gin mills be refined.

The point of that one was to have been our national prudery anent drinking establishments. §2 of the 21st Amendment, if you haven't read it lately, recognizes (partly expressly, partly impliedly) the power of the States to pass any damfool law they like to control liquor, so it's as much a part of the pattern as the 18th Amendment. But—a treatise on social history in the form of a song parody? Wouldn't that have knocked the ticket-buyers dead! I tell you, the blasted song is beyond me.

Meanwhile, the Baby Boomer comedy group wanted an original blues (assuming that a blues can be original) as a sort of signature tune. A sample verse and sample (unrelated) chorus:

I turn on the tube—
There isn't much I like.
I turn on the tube—
There isn't much I like.
I'd like to know why
They canceled Dick van Dyke.

I got the Boomer Blues.
The bottom-feeding Boomer Blues.
I got the Boomer Blues.
The bathymetric Boomer Blues.
I got the what-the-fuck-now-we're-stuck-with-cheesy-Chuck-Schumer,
[grunt] Baby Boomer Blues.

I wouldn't copyright any of this stuff with a ten-foot pole.


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