Just Under the Wire

It's already all over the Web that Sen. Larry Craig (R-Ida.) will resign tomorrow, in the wake of his having pleaded guilty to behaving like a Democrat. So I haven't much time left to pen, in extremest haste, and post the following parody of Irving Berlin's Doin' What Comes Natur'lly:

Larry Craig, yer kinda vague
About yer peccadilloes.
Why endure the third degree?
Do yer business virch'ally!

Yew c'n get the Internet
For almost next to nothin';
Larry, take a tip from me:
Do yer business virch'ally!

Yew don't have to sit in a bathroom stall,
When the Web is a sybaritic shopping mall.
Yew'll find just the right cyber-combat-zone
To amuse any predilection ever known.
Do it virch'ally!
Do it virch'ally!

(A word of explanation,
In view of what yew done:
It's called the "Union Station,"
But it's not a vulgar pun.)

Now ya know the way things go,
I hope yew've learned yer lesson.
Wanna stay a V.I.P.?
Do yer business virch'ally!

Lyric © 2007 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov