Cole is Dead

No, not Cole Porter, silly. He died ages ago. I mean Jack Cole, who published the Cole Directory. When I first came to work in a New York law office--actually, a Brooklyn law office--I was introduced to this wondrous tome by the process server on our floor. I salivated at the thought of it back then; much of my time, it seemed, was spent trying to track down defendants who no longer resided at the addresses given in the police reports, and the Cole Directory seemed like the answer to a prayer. That, I told myself, was what our office needed. But our office never made capital expenditures in aid of its practice. Not because we weren't dedicated to doing the best job we could; there simply was no money to spend on such fripperies. The old firm still owes me a week's pay from those days. If I ever collect it, I'll stand my faithful readers (numbering upwards of two) a round of drinks, and blow the whole thing. What the hell?