Bits and Pieces

In the course of trying to get the second-third-of-a-CD going, I had occasion to revise a lyric, I hope for the better. Certainly, it's a bit easier for me now to remember the Order of Expletives. The tune is from 1930; Harry Warren's Would You Like to Take a Walk?, a midi file of which may be heard, as ever, at http://www.harrywarren.org/:

Omigod! It's election time again!
Holy crap! The Republicans are back.
Geez Louise! Have you noticed who they're running?
Someone must be funning—
Nothin' good 'll come of that.

Oh, good grief! Must the Democrats debate?
Freakin' A! This is ab-solutely wack.
Hokey smokes! Would you listen to 'em drivel?
No one's even civil—
Heaven knows, we don't want that.

At the National Convention,
We seek conviction—because we care.
But no, there's no conviction; there's just convection—
Hot air.

Oh, good Lord! Have you seen 'em meet the press?
Golly gee! Do ya think they need a flack?
By the way—did I mention that it's squalid?
Do your pal a solid—
Take a gun and shoot me, stat!

Lyric © 2007 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

Meanwhile, a fresh parody of Arthur Schwartz's That's Entertainment has been knocking around in my head, though it's still very sketchy, owing to my lack of familiarity with the subject. I had to pump my teen-age daughter on some recent history to get anywhere with it.

The Stones
Speak in moderate tones;
In the Doors,
Hardly anyone roars;
Every band
Is incredibly bland:
That's understatement.

The bass
Is so not-in-your-face,
And the drums
Make inaudible hums;
Someone croons
Pianissimo tunes:
That's understatement.

[OH,
BUGGER
ALL
THIS!]
. . . .
Not a hand's creeping crotch-ward,
'Cause subtlety is their watchword.

The Strokes
Are conservative folks,
And the Clash
Won't do anything rash;
R.E.M.
Is a delicate gem—
A gem is a rock,
And Rock is a gem
Of understatement.

Lyric © 2007 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

My older readers know that I scavenged the crotch-ward/watchword rhyme, but it's put to apter use here, I think.