Obsessing, Slightly

Sen. Larry Craig's surrender at the first sign of trouble has done nothing to take my mind off the situation. Today, on the way to the orifice, bits of patter popped into my head, to set up Do Yer Business Virch'ally for an audience; an audience (schniff!) that will never be:

"What I can't get over about this whole Larry Craig business is—why Minneapolis-St. Paul? Nobody actually goes there, except to change planes for somewhere else, or to inspect bridges, or something. So what possessed Craig to try his luck in a gents' 'way out there, of all places?

"I can understand trolling for tail in Washington, D.C. In Washington, you have to stand in line if you want to pick up a stranger in a restroom. The whole place is right out of the pages of history—or is it pages with history? Anyway, getting a little breaks up the monotony of all those committee meetings.

"Or why not wait until you're back home? Picture Craig back in Idaho: Congress has adjourned, he's sitting at home with nothing to do, he's at a loose end—so he goes out cruising for a loose end.

"But no. He chose the Twin Cities. And now he's paying the price for not learning what the rest of us learned long ago: if you want to get your rocks off, go online. That's why we have an Internet. That's what it's for." [Segue into song.]