A Fine Parody, I Don't Think

One of my many shortcomings as a parodist is that I start with an idea, which is knocked into a cocked hat along about bar 9, and the lyric goes where it listeth. By the time I reach the end, I can't even remember what the original idea was. Here, for what it's worth, is a take on Jerome Kern's A Fine Romance:

A fine pole dance,
With no strippin'!
A fine pole dance—
She's no pippin:
She's timid, awkward,
Under-rehearsed and nervous.
(She ought to sue that
Aptitude-testing service.)

She snorts loudly,
But can't giggle;
Her boobs pucker—
Her lips jiggle.
So if you think you've even the slightest chance
Getting into her pants—
Tell her your name is Lance.

Lyric © Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov