Everyone's Favorite Castration Fantasy

At rehearsal last night, Ron, my DAMP, told me of a new horror flick soon to open, called Teeth.

On my way home, I had a very obvious song idea for it; and this morning, when my offspring brought up the subject again, I thought I'd better bung down a lyric PDQ, so no one could say I didn't think of it myself.

The tune—which is the obvious part—is Hakuna Matata:

Vagina dentata—what a comforting theme!
Vagina dentata ain't no gyno's dream;
The Venus flytrap, carried to an extreme.
Straight from Hollywood,
To please your pud:
Vagina dentata!

Lyric © 2008 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

Mind you, I've always found the idea of vagina dentata a pleasing one. Of course, in my mind's eye, the teeth were always my own.