I Used to Have More Time on My Hands

Cleaning the ol' hard drive this afternoon, I chanced upon the following purple passage from an imaginary travel brochure, written many, many years ago:

At Hurling Street Station, across from the Cathedral of St. John the Repeater, we board the Porcelain Goddess Express, which carries us nonstop from the sprawling City of Regurgitopolis through the shady suburbs of Vomitsville, Barfsburg, Puketon and Whoopshampton. As we follow the course of the turbulent Rio Emetico through arid Dry Heave Gulch, we pass the mouth of the fabled Lost Cookie Mine. Up, up, up we climb to the very pinnacle of Mount Projectile, which affords a spectacular view of the entire County of Upchuck.

Eheu! fugaces, as the man said.