"Bill," By Gum!

Well, Dear Reader, the last song in the world I ever expected to parody was Jerome Kern's Bill (original lyric by Wodehouse and Hammerstein, o' course), but the idea for a refrain suddenly struck me on the way home from work this evening. I worked it out PDQ, and here it is. It's to be sung slowly, with lots and lots of feeling and a vacant expression:

To have an independent idea
In North Korea
Wastes time—
As anyone can tell you,
Our Leader
Is downright
Sublime.
He has a rare and noble mind—
With a face that recalls a dog's behind.
So He thinks for us,
Which is why we're free:
We avoid the fuss
Of democracee.

He's Kim Jong-il:
He gives us all we need.
His honorable heart is truly bountiful.
The rank and file
Should thank the vile
Security Council,
If we must eat groundsel,
'Cause it's not His fault—
He had to trade our salt
For day-old swill.
We love Him,
Because he always does
What's good for Kim Jong-il.

Lyric © 2006 by Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

The verse in particular is only makeshift at this point. The dog's behind bit seems a trifle gratuitous, for instance. Merest filler..

What tickles me about the refrain is the attempt to rhyme Council with groundsel, not surprisingly, and working swill into a song lyric. What I deplore is the "turning the corner" at vile/Security, but that can't be helped, as far as I can tell. I'll keep groping for something a little more natural-sounding, though I hate the thought of sacrificing the double rhyme of rank/file and thank/vile. As usual, hmmmmm.