Darn Ira Gershwin, Anyway!

Last Saturday afternoon, my DAMP and I were chewing the fat, talking of this and that, when a tag for a parody of Vernon Duke's I Can't Get Started with You popped into the noggin, along with the first three lines to set it up.

Since it's just a glorified "list" song along the lines of You're the Top, I figured that filling in the blanks would be a piece of cake; but no. The release, or bridge, or middle eight, or whatever you want to call it, is a bitch. I've been walking around in a daze (deeper than usual, even for me) for three days now, rasslin' with it.

This morning, something finally came to me, and I bunged it down and whipped through the ending without any thought whatever:

My friends and neighbors say that I’m thick;
I’m just about as dumb as a brick;
I voted twice for Carter—
But still I’m smarter than you.

Although I purchased Enron at par,
And think the Yugo’s quite a good car,
No matter how subhuman,
I’ve more acumen than you.

Your IQ’s low—
I’ve made a graph of it.
Slow?
You’re Chief of Staff of it.
No,
That ain’t the half of it—
You just don’t have a clue.

I looked at Love and gave it a try;
I thought Romance was easy as pie,
I still believed in Cupid—
Yet I’m not as stupid as you.

Lyric © 2006 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov