Under the Influence

I never can remember who composed But Not for Me, and I'm too drunk at the moment to google it, but here's an off-the-cuff parody of it:

They're wearing thongs a lot,
You must agree.
They're showing all they've got,
As you can see.
I'm thrown for quite a loss,
Each time I come across
A bit of fanny floss,
Or two or three.

I guess a thong will do,
If you're the type;
And there's a bonus, too:
You needn't wipe.
But when it comes to sex,
I hope they break their necks,
'Cause there's no thong for me.

Lyric © 2006 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

The last line sucks. But I'll have to sober up before I can give my attention to it. Which means if ever.