Friday, July 07, 2006

"Fag Hag"--That's the Ticket!

An idea for a parody of The Lady Is a Tramp, by Richard Rodgers, crossed my mind last night. I'd cobbled together a complete chorus, but, in my ignorance of gay culture, I was doubtful about dragging John Tesh into the third line. Today, some friends of mine put me straight, as it were; and, moreover, suggested a better way to go. Not that I'm happy with the new opening lines; no, not at all. They want revision. But the kernel of a decent idea's in 'em, so they stay pro tem. Here's the song:

She goes for fellas who go for her mind;
Has lots of boyfriends, but none are "inclined";
Go look up "fag hag," and guess what you'll find?
No doubt the lady's into camp.

Her bust eclipses Sophia Loren's;
Built like Mercedes—and I don't mean Benz;
But she and menfolk can only be frenz.
No doubt the lady's into camp.

Yet think of how much money she saves,
Sloughing the knaves—
No bills
For Pills!

She's got potential, but only one amp.
No doubt, the lady's into camp.

Lyric © 2006 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov

What sense can be made of line six? I assume, with no evidence except the recent proliferation of porn for Hispanics, that there's at least one beddable woman out there named Mercedes. I suppose that needs work, too.

And by sloughing the knaves, I mean to suggest discarding male suitors. Oh, well.

Come to think of it, perhaps I ought to flush this damned thing.


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