To the Victor . . .

The tag to the following parody popped into my head last night, and the whole thing was dashed off this morning with little effort, and shows it. The release stinks; the allusion to annuit coeptis is too obscure for the average audience. But there it remains, until something better comes along. I hasten to add that "Honeywell Cartel" is a completely fanciful name, meant to suggest the gaggle of gigacorps who'll be rebuilding Iraq, and not any gigacorp in particular. The tune is Harry Warren's Honeymoon Hotel, a midi of which may be found at David Jenkins's absolutely fabulous tribute to that unsung hero of Tin Pan Alley, The Harry Warren Web Site (click on "The Songs"; there, you'll find links to the whole library in alpha order).

Now that we've destroyed Iraq completely—
Bombed their infrastructure all to hell—
We'll rebuild their weapon systems neatly
With the Honeywell Cartel.

First, you bomb 'em back into the Stone Age,
Then you form a Baghdad Baby Bell,
Launching a fantastic Mobile Phone Age,
Through the Honeywell Cartel.

Mammon gives us motive—
Also other perks.
Offer Him a votive,
That He may bless our works.

Oh! Everybody's gonna make a profit—
Cheney's done particularly well.
If you've got a hat, you'd better doff it
To the Honeywell Cartel.

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov