Four, the Hard Way

Yesterday, a neat idea occurred to me for a parody. An outdated idea, as is so often the case with me, but nevertheless neat. Only one difficulty: the idea fit the refrain of Porter's You Do Something to Me (a cheesy midi of which can be found here). As the link reminds us, You Do Something to Me contains the perfectly impossible lyric, "Do do/That voodoo/That you do/So well." Try that one over on your pianola!

Still, I carried on as best I could, and came up with the dummiest of dummy lyrics (mind, the first four lines are written in stone):

Who knew Ernie was gay?
Nothing from now on could surprise me.
Who knew Bert was—"that way"?
(Why is it no one notifies me?)
Good grief! Where will it lead?
Snoopy
On Snoopy?
Or Droopy
On speed?
[dumbfoundedly:] Still—who knew Ernie was gay?
(I wonder—is Big Bird blue?)

I can't say whether the assonance of now on/no one and the (arguable) triple pun of blue compensate for the identity in the autoerotic Snoopy/Snoopy, but that's what I intend to argue at my criminal trial.

Lyric © 2005 Nathaniel DesH. Petrikov